Mom-in-Law revisited - but not much longer

By Penny

A year ago I wrote an entry about my mother-in-law moving in with us. I voiced my concerns and apprehensions at that time. Suffice it to say, she’ll be moving out soon. What’s really pushed me over the edge is a bit of a surprise, yet very relevant here.

I’ve noted before that I have an anxiety disorder. Of late, my anxiety has gotten much worse to the point of affecting my marriage, my relationship with my son, my work, and my health. I tried to politely explain to my mother-in-law that a lot of the anxiety stems from dealing with her uncontrolled anxiety, which affects the way she treats us and the way she responds to everyday stresses that come along with a family that includes two working adults and a 2-year-old.

There are definitely other issues, but this figured prominently. I explained that I am depressed and feel powerless to do anything. I just want something to change.

I outlined three options: 1) we get family therapy, 2) I move out, 3) she moves out.

My husband agrees that our home life stinks. Mom’s anxiety and behavior is affecting him in a negative way, too. He thinks that therapy is probably not worthwhile. He definitely does not want me to leave. Heck, it’s our house and we are very much in love with each other. So he asked Mom if she’d begin planning on getting out, and that we’d help in any way possible.

Her response was not one of love and understanding. She says that my problem is the conflict between being a mother and a career woman, and why should she be blamed for my problem? I’ve heard her make comments about how career women aren’t good wives and mothers. I thought after a year of living with us, she KNEW that having my career is what makes me a good wife and mother.

So today, I’m numb. I don’t want to go home. How can I cope with this? Help!!

Penny is a "Work It" contributing writer. Read more about her.