The Second Time Around, Part II

By Megan

I guess it's been a while since you heard from me. My last blog was written in the wee hours of the morning due to a case of insomnia. I can tell you that some things about this pregnancy haven't changed at all. It's 6:00 a.m. on Saturday and I find myself sitting at the computer. I cannot sleep because I am unable to find a position that is comfortable for more than a couple of hours. Most days - by morning, I am aching all over. This morning, on top of it all, baby Fontaine has a serious case of the hiccups. So, once again, insomnia has left me with quiet un-interrupted time on my hands to write. (Hope it won't be another three months before you hear from me again.)

Today I am contemplating if we are ready to welcome baby #2. Everything from the practical (I've got to have the hospital bag ready by August 1!) to the more cerebral and emotional. And I am thinking of our readiness as individuals - myself, my daughter and my husband.

For myself, I can only say that I am ready to be done with this pregnancy and meet my new child. (The second time around is no picnic!) I want my body back, and I won't lie - I am looking forward to the day when I can have three beers and a fat, mayo-laden chunk white Albacore tuna sandwich. I seriously miss my weekends - unwinding with a drink (or 2 or 3) on Friday and having a beer with lunch every Saturday and Sunday. (My refrigerator is still stocked with the beer I had the day I found out I was pregnant. Good thing beer doesn't spoil easily. Thank you to that soul who refined the bottling process to such a degree.)

On the other hand, I worry so much about....well......everything. Isn't that one of the primary duties of parenthood - worrying? First, will the baby be healthy? Will the birth be easy? What trials and challenges with this child face? What physical injuries will this child endure? What emotional scars with this child have to overcome? Can I possibly love my second child as much as I love my first? Do I have enough love for two? What will I do differently this time around? How will I juggle a career and two children? How will we afford this growing family? How will I take my 8-week-old baby to daycare and go back to work? How? What? Why? The questions and worries are endless.......although there is some comfort in knowing they are normal. One day, one moment at a time - one of my many mantras.

As for my daughter, she has the same worries any kid would have. "Will you still love me the same? Will I still be special?" I have no idea how will she handle sharing the limelight with her sibling. She certainly seems excited. She is such a sweet and considerate child, and I am so worried that this monumental event in her life will have a profound effect on her personality. It breaks my heart to think that she might experience half a second when she feels less important, ignored, forgotten.

She was my first. There will never be another like her. I have solicited much advice on how to ensure she doesn't feel neglected. (Have been meaning to buy a book on the subject but never made it that far and, let's face it, I don't have time to read! HA!) I have certainly emphasized repeatedly how important her role is in all this. I have assured her that I will still love her just as much. I think the best advice someone gave me was just a healthy dose of reality - my first daughter is more than likely going to have some issues after the birth of her baby sister. There is very little chance she will make the transition from only child to first child with no bumps in the road. She is bound to have some insecurities. And it's our job as her parents to be there for her as she experiences them and guide her to the brighter side, help her find the rewards and the positives. One day, one moment at a time.

Then, there is my husband, the one perpetually calm and upbeat person who truly does take life one moment at a time. The man who has lived through nine months of very little sex, a lot of "do this.....do that", many sleepless nights (due to my tossing and turning) and much complaining (as we near the end of this pregnancy). He is the mountain in this family. If he has worries, he doesn't voice them and I am left feeling terrible for not probing him about them. Maybe he would like to talk about them but can't get a word (or complaint) in edgewise! (It's very likely.) I am at a loss as to what I would do without his patience and understanding and the healthy dose of laughter he brings out in me every single day. He is the high point of each day for me. There is no way I could have made it this far without him. How in the hell did I snag this man?

Overall, I guess we are the picture of a typical family expecting their second child. I think I just need reassurance, lots of advice and......to relax......take it one day at a time. So please......any good advice on making the transition from one child to two is very welcome!

Megan is a "Work It" contributing writer. Read more about her.